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Overweight & Indulgent vs Thin & Calorie Conscious

November 30, 2008

Before: “Pass that bread basket over here…ooh, is that honey butter?  Yum!”

Now: “I will pay you $100 if I touch that roll.  Do you know how many calories is in that olive oil dip?!?”

Before: “Pizza and a movie?  Sounds fun.  I’ll call Papa John’s.”

Now: “Um, um, okay.  Why don’t I make a salad as well?”  Meanwhile, I’m thinking to myself, I’ll eat a huge bowl of veggies and hopefully jut one piece of pizza.

Before: “Sure, I’ll be at the potluck.  What should I bring?”

Now: I’ll agree to go if I have at least several days between me and the potluck.  That way, I can make sure to eat really well for a while in case I indulge a bit much at the gathering. “Okay, I’ll be there with a vegetable.”  Yes, I am that girl.  I bring a healthy green dish, and then fill 90% of my plate with it.

Can we say control issues?  I hate the thought of eating in restaurants, not knowing what they are putting on my plate.  If friends have us over for dinner, I usually worry about it for several days hoping they won’t serve all carbs and no vegetables.  After losing weight, the thought of overeating for just one day spins me out of control.  If I do happen to eat too much, I’m usually fine in the end.  Yes, I’ll count and recount my calories for the day and then feel guilty until I remind myself, “Yes, I ate it.  There is nothing that can be done now.  Go to bed and eat better tomorrow.”  This thought always comforts me.  Tomorrow is always a fresh start, and I know I’ll feel better after just one day of my normal eating habits.

Sometimes, I wonder if my friends and family miss the overweight laid back Heather who would go out to eat at the drop of a hat.  Now, I plan meals out days in advance, and I don’t like it when I can’t choose the restaurant.  Losing weight and getting in shape brought about so many positive changes in my life, but sometimes I think it took some of the fun out of food.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 30, 2008 4:28 pm

    Hi! I just found your blog through Kath’s blog and wanted to say you’re off to a great start! I’m going to add you to my blogroll if you don’t mind!

  2. November 30, 2008 8:49 pm

    Wow I completely know where you’re coming from with this post. I lost the weight I gained in undergrad last year and come from a very food-centric family and it’s been tough. I sometimes feel like I’m taking the fun out of things we used to do together as a family because I’m now conscious about what I eat. I don’t like going to certain restaurants anymore because I know they don’t offer healthy choices. I do feel like sometimes my family would prefer me to be back at my old weight simply because I was always a “go with the flow” type of person, but now I’ll object to pizza/movie nights. I just have to remind myself that it’s spending time together as a family that is important – not stuffing ourselves with food! I’m making healthy choices for ME and I can’t let anyone make me feel guilty about that!

  3. Celia permalink
    December 1, 2008 2:42 am

    Awww, darling! I totally get where you’re coming from. There was a period when I was watching my diet like a hawk … I would count the calories of every single morsel of food that I was/was not going to eat … needless to say, dining out in a restaurant would be a BIG NO NO for me during that time …. 4000kJ worth of food in ONE sitting, eh! NO THANKS!!

    But now, I’ve come to realization that LIFE is way too short to cut out those occasional dining out/indulgence days, just for the sake of ‘being a healthy eater’ … yes, I know there are people out there who lives on a 100% fat free, NO CHOLESTEROL, ONLY GOOD CARBS, NO HFCS life and LOVE it! … but I choose to be NOT to be one myself, I mean SERIOUSLY is there anything wrong with eating/drinking just a little bit too much at a party? I think not … PLUS, is it really a healthy behavior for us to turn down a plate of pasta or a slice of pizza IN ITALY, just because they are made out of WHITE aka BAD carbs?!?

    So all in all, I think there is NOTHING wrong with living your life as health nut BUT I also think that having ‘splurges’ once in a blue moon WON’T hurt either 😀

  4. December 1, 2008 3:53 am

    I totally understand! I love food so much but sometimes my anxieties make eating such a terrible ordeal.

  5. Sarah permalink
    October 11, 2009 6:20 pm

    This was so beautifully aware. I am really impressed. After 85 lbs it resonates a lot with me, too. Thank you for having the gumption to post it here.

  6. Denise permalink
    February 12, 2010 7:18 pm


    This helps me understand you so much better. I always wondered about your hesitation to eat spontanously with friends. I didn’t get it…but now I do. I’m so glad you wrote this!

    I wish I had more of what you have. I’m hoping reading your blog will help me with my own journey. I’m juicing organic veggies most every morning and I feel so much better until I eat lunch. I still haven’t found a lunch or dinner option that works for me. I’m eternally hopeful. Maybe I’ll find something that you cook that will work for me also.

    Thank you so much for including recipes and especially pictures! You know me, I’m not a cook so seeing every step as well as pictures already gives me confidence to try to cook.

    Looking forward to all your future posts.

    Love you!

  7. Amanda Y. permalink
    April 2, 2010 9:23 pm

    I just found your blog and hope I can become more uptight and planning like you. I lost a lot of weight before and enjoyed being active with my group of friends and just didn’t eat much. Now we eat healthy, but I don’t have anyone to enjoy being active with. I am HUGE, especially for eating so healthy…my only guess is my body needs LOTS of exercise, so I’m trying to get there!

  8. April 3, 2010 7:42 am

    Best of luck Amanda. My advice would be to focus more on strength training. Excess cardio does nothing but make me more hungry. I found that when I cut most of it out, I had less of an appetite and lost weight. Do you ever count your calories? I eat between 1800 to 2000 calories a day, but keep the focus on fat with some carbs and protein and no sugar. Honey, agave, etc. – our body reacts to them as sugar, even if they are considered “healthy, all natural sweeteners.”

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